Spotlight on Sandra Fermin
It’s been a long five years, but graduation is so close, I can almost taste it. Reflecting over the past five years, I see that I am not the same person that I came in as a freshman.
For starters, I came in as a music and psychology major. My plan was to become a music therapist, and to teach and perform music on the side. I guess you can say I had a plan. I was heavily involved with the music department with its ensembles and productions. It was a joy to be a part of something bigger, and to me that was music. For my first two years, that’s all I did, and it was amazing. Fast forward to junior year, week 4, Spiritual Emphasis week, that’s when it happened. I was feeling God’ call to ministry. It’s hard to explain how it happened. To be honest, I don’t even know how it happened, it just did. It was a Moses at the burning bush type of moment and I was feeling nothing but reluctance and self doubt. I struggled, because this was not my plan. This was not what I wanted for my life and not what I wanted for the people around me either. “Pastor Sandra” or “Pastor Fermin” didn’t sound quite right. I didn’t want to live with people looking at me a certain way and holding me to a certain standard. However, through weeks that year and realizing that I caught myself crying, praying, and even looking at the Divinity school curriculum, I opened up to the idea. However, I remained in doubt even when I said “Yes” to this calling. I remember reading the passage from Exodus 4:10-12 saying “But Moses said to the Lord, ‘Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.’ Then the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.’” With this I said to God, “If I’m going to do this, please let me love it despite my doubt and show me where I need to go.” So dealing with the aftermath of saying yes to this calling has been quite a ride. After those weeks, I knew that if I was going to be in ministry, I needed to be in ministry and be in practice. After that, the rest is history.
Serving as Spiritual Vice President for two years has given me the opportunity to serve my campus and learn about how ministry works in the process. Throughout the past two years, I have also received pastoral internships/job opportunities that have helped me experience local church ministry. This is now my fifth year at La Sierra, and I am completing a music major with Pre-Seminary. I am serving my second year as Spiritual Vice President, as well as a Student Youth Pastor at the Anaheim Sunkist SDA Church. I have managed to keep music as part of my ministry since I have started to perform, and also have now started teaching lessons as well as doing vocal coaching. Has the road been tough? You bet it has… There have been tears, moments of anger, and many moments of self doubt. But I am where I want to be.
I have applied to Andrews University for my Masters of Divinity in Church Leadership and Worship Emphasis. I also had the opportunity to interview with the seven Pacific Union Conferences this past February. Soon, I will know where I will be heading after graduation. As a woman entering this field, I do have a bit of anxiety, yet I always think about the brave women who came before me, and so I press on for the sake of the Gospel. Maybe, I will serve as a full time pastor, or maybe I will be in Andrews for the next 3 years. My heart is at Andrews, but my mind is open to what surprises I may receive in the next few months. Despite the uncertainty, I can say that seeing the different ways God has reaffirmed my calling, I know that God will place me where I need to be after graduation.